Monster in a Bottle
Monster in a Bottle
Characters:
Justin – Main Character of the story, he is tall, strong and handsome guy. His life is not easy, many guys envy him because he was be interested by many girls and he always had problems with those guys, but he also has his own problem that he is too shy to talk to girls so he still single.
Lydia – A monster, female monster that looks like a human girl, very sexy. She kisses people to suck their life energy as her food. Actually she has no name, Lydia is the name of her tribe, she was called by the name of her tribe.
Daniel – Close friend of Justin, studied in the same class. He likes mysterious and superstition story.
Nicolas – A guy that always has problems with Justin. He fight with Justin many times.
Story:
On a calm day in the park, there was a fighting between two men.
“Ouch!”, cried Nicolas while he lay down on the floor
“Would you like some more?”, asked Justin
“Heh heh, you are so strong. Today I’m not ready yet, I will pay you back next time”, Nicolas said and ran away.
Justin walked out of the park, on the way to his house he saw something: a necklace, with a very small bottle tied with it. He picked it up and look
“What is this?” Justin asked himself, anyway he was not in a good mood, after look to it for a while, he threw it away.
On the next day, Justin walked to school with Daniel, his close friend. On the way to school they pass through many girls, the girls were look at and gossiped about Justin.
“Oh, that’s Justin.”
“He is so handsome.”
“Why he is so quiet? Is he never interested in any one?”
“I really like him” etc.
Daniel also heard what they talk, he said to Justin.
“Hey man, I very envy you, the girls talk about you all the time.”
“Whatever, just forget it.”
“Oh come on man, you should find a cute one, I tell ya. Oh! I see, you never interested in girls, you probably be a …Ouch!”
The conversation ended by Justin’s (friendly) kick.
After school, Justin walked home. He realized what Daniel said in the morning. Justin never talk to girls because he was too shy to talk to them, but many people thought that Justin was an arrogant man, or he tried to make his image to be like a man in a movie, or even some people thought that he was a gay. That was really a big problem for him.
While he walked and thought, he saw a necklace on the road again, the same necklace, the one with a tiny bottle tied with it.
“Again?” Justin asked himself, but this time he took this thing to his home.
He backed home and went to his room, he sat and examined the necklace carefully, he found out that that tiny bottle there was the way that the people can open it. He tried to open the bottle to see what was inside
Pop!
It was full of smoke, after that there was something came out of this bottle. A girl, a young beautiful girl in a sexy dress, she lay down on the floor, she was sleeping.
“A girl!?” said Justin “so cute.”
Justin move his face close to her face to looked at her closer, suddenly her eyes were open, Justin stepped back.
“Wait, wait, wait, wait. A…A…I didn’t try to do anything ok!?”
She woke up and touched Justin’s face, she kissed him.
This is Justin thought: (Ah! I never realized that the kiss will excellent like this, whole body is hot like fire, the energy in the body is fading.)
Justin knocked out.
“Arrgh! Is he dead, ah, I’m so sorry about that. I didn’t eat for a long time so maybe I sucked too much, but anyway, I must do something with dead body before anyone see.”
Justin woke up “I’m not dead yet.”
“You still alive!?”
“Of course, but what you have done to me, I feel that myself is lacking of energy, you are the one who did it right?”
“Yup.” The girl said “I sucked your life energy as my food.”
“Huh?”
“Umm… I still hungry, maybe I should go out to take some more food.”
The girl walked to the window of the room, the wings on her back appeared.
“Wh…Who are you?” asked Justin
“Me?” said the girl “I’m Lydia, thanks for free me, and see you again later, bye.”
Lydia flew out and disappeared from Justin’s eyesight.
At night, Justin slept, he also dreamed
He dreamed that he was in a classroom, he saw Lydia killed many people in the classroom, and then she was going to kill Daniel, Justin cried “STOP!”
He woke up, and realized that it was just a dream.
In the next morning, Justin came to school, in the class, there was a few students came to the class, included Daniel. Justin wonder what was going on, but he didn’t know who he can ask and how he will start.
During the lunch break, Justin had lunch with Daniel
“I had a strange dream last night”, said Daniel
“What?”
“I dreamed that I was in the class, many people in the class were killed by a young girl in a sexy dress. I almost killed by her, too.”
“Huh?”
“And then in the morning, I saw many people didn’t show up in the class, I phone to their house, they said that they sick, they can’t come to school because they had no energy or something.”
“A girl in a sexy dress, make people lack of energy?”
“You know her, too?”
“Yeah! What a strange, I didn’t believe myself, too.” And then Justin told Daniel all of the story.
“She might not be a human” said Daniel “She must be a kind of superstition being! I heard that there was a kind of monster who get food by suck the energy of human being. Sure that she is!”
“What a stupid.” Justin said, but in his mind he figure out all the things and began believe in what Daniel said.
In the evening, there was a girl appeared in the school. Of course it was Lydia, her charm made everyone saw her as one eye. Nicolas (actually Nicolas studied in the same school with Justin and Daniel, but different class) said to her
“Oh! How beautiful you are, your eyes are so beautiful, your lips are … oh … it will be the greatest thing in my life if you give me a kiss.”
“You want to kiss me? Why not?”
Justin and Daniel were going to go back home, on the way Justin saw Lydia and Nicolas almost kissing each other.
“Lydia, stop!” Shouted Justin
Lydia stopped and saw Justin and said
“Oh Justin, I want to see you again.” She hugged Justin that made Nicolas really shocked.
Everyone saw Justin and Lydia as one eye, so Justin took her to the place that no one there.
“Hi, we meet again”, said Lydia
“Why you are here?”
“I want to see you.”
“You want to see me? Why?”
“Why? Because … Because … Umm… I forget it.”
“Uh?”
“But anyway, let me go with you until I can remember it, ok.”
It was better to let her go with him than let her went around and harm anybody, Justin said yes and took her home.
Lydia was tired all the day, she took a nap in Justin’s room. Justin was starting to did his assignment. He put his work on the table. On the table, he saw the necklace with the tiny bottle again. He came up with a plan.
The time passed by, at night, Justin asked Lydia to went for a walk together.
“a walk?”, asked Lydia
“Yeah.”
“Wow, that’s great. Where are you going to take me to? A shopping mall?”
“Nah, I have no money, just walk.”
The two walked on the road at night, Lydia was so happy.
They walked to the park, and then Justin pushed Lydia to the floor
“What are you doing?” asked Lydia “Are you going to rape me?”
In fact, Justin pushed Lydia to the magical wheel that written by Daniel.
“Justin called me in the evening to prepare for this plan. We have to do it in order to stop you to harm every body.”
“Uh…Ah…” Cried Lydia. The magical wheel made her lose her energy
Justin took the necklace with tiny bottle out from his pocket
“You find me because this one right? If you have it, no one can capture you and you will free. I can’t let you do that. I’ll capture you now.”
“No!”
Meanwhile, Nicolas back from buy some food in convenient store, when he walked through the park, he saw Lydia lay down on the floor and cried for help with Justin and Daniel stand aside. Nicolas rushed to Justin.
“What the heck are you going to do!?” Nicolas Shouted
He punched Justin, Justin tried to explain but Nicolas didn’t listen, he dodge Nicolas’ punch until his back almost leant the wall, at the wall there are many big and long sticks leant on the wall as well.
Finally Justin’s back leant in the sticks on the wall, the sticks were going to fall to Justin’s body.
“JUSTIN, WATCH OUT!” said lydia, she used all her strength rushed out of the magical wheel. She pushed Justin away before the sticks fell to his body, Justin safe.
“Lydia.” Said Justin
“Justin” Said Lydia “I’m glad that you are safe.” And then she was unconscious because she lost all her energy.
“Oh Lydia, you sacrificed yourself for me?” Justin kissed her, gave all his energy to her hoped that she will woke up.
Three days later
Justin was unconscious for three days, his mom took care of him
“Oh, thanks God, you are safe.”
“What’s going on mom?”
“Three days ago, Daniel and one guy took your home, and you were unconscious for three days. I don’t know how come a strong person like you become unconscious like this. Take care of yourself ok?” Mom said, “I will go to find something for you to eat.” And then she walk out of Justin’s room.
Suddenly there is a voice from the window
“Hi”, of course, it’s Lydia
“It’s you again?”
“Thanks for help me, you are really a nice guy.”
“It’s all right … but…”
What Justin saw is, Lydia wore the necklace with the bottle on her neck
“Hey! Give it back to me!”
“No. If I give it back to you, you will use it to capture me, right?” Said Lydia “But don’t worry, I’ll not harm anyone anymore.”
“Pardon?”
“I sucked energy from many people, but there is no energy that as delicious as yours.”
“That means?”
“Yes, from now on I will suck only yours.”
“Oh no!” cried Justin “Someday I’ll capture you, Lydia!”
Characters:
Justin – Main Character of the story, he is tall, strong and handsome guy. His life is not easy, many guys envy him because he was be interested by many girls and he always had problems with those guys, but he also has his own problem that he is too shy to talk to girls so he still single.
Lydia – A monster, female monster that looks like a human girl, very sexy. She kisses people to suck their life energy as her food. Actually she has no name, Lydia is the name of her tribe, she was called by the name of her tribe.
Daniel – Close friend of Justin, studied in the same class. He likes mysterious and superstition story.
Nicolas – A guy that always has problems with Justin. He fight with Justin many times.
Story:
On a calm day in the park, there was a fighting between two men.
“Ouch!”, cried Nicolas while he lay down on the floor
“Would you like some more?”, asked Justin
“Heh heh, you are so strong. Today I’m not ready yet, I will pay you back next time”, Nicolas said and ran away.
Justin walked out of the park, on the way to his house he saw something: a necklace, with a very small bottle tied with it. He picked it up and look
“What is this?” Justin asked himself, anyway he was not in a good mood, after look to it for a while, he threw it away.
On the next day, Justin walked to school with Daniel, his close friend. On the way to school they pass through many girls, the girls were look at and gossiped about Justin.
“Oh, that’s Justin.”
“He is so handsome.”
“Why he is so quiet? Is he never interested in any one?”
“I really like him” etc.
Daniel also heard what they talk, he said to Justin.
“Hey man, I very envy you, the girls talk about you all the time.”
“Whatever, just forget it.”
“Oh come on man, you should find a cute one, I tell ya. Oh! I see, you never interested in girls, you probably be a …Ouch!”
The conversation ended by Justin’s (friendly) kick.
After school, Justin walked home. He realized what Daniel said in the morning. Justin never talk to girls because he was too shy to talk to them, but many people thought that Justin was an arrogant man, or he tried to make his image to be like a man in a movie, or even some people thought that he was a gay. That was really a big problem for him.
While he walked and thought, he saw a necklace on the road again, the same necklace, the one with a tiny bottle tied with it.
“Again?” Justin asked himself, but this time he took this thing to his home.
He backed home and went to his room, he sat and examined the necklace carefully, he found out that that tiny bottle there was the way that the people can open it. He tried to open the bottle to see what was inside
Pop!
It was full of smoke, after that there was something came out of this bottle. A girl, a young beautiful girl in a sexy dress, she lay down on the floor, she was sleeping.
“A girl!?” said Justin “so cute.”
Justin move his face close to her face to looked at her closer, suddenly her eyes were open, Justin stepped back.
“Wait, wait, wait, wait. A…A…I didn’t try to do anything ok!?”
She woke up and touched Justin’s face, she kissed him.
This is Justin thought: (Ah! I never realized that the kiss will excellent like this, whole body is hot like fire, the energy in the body is fading.)
Justin knocked out.
“Arrgh! Is he dead, ah, I’m so sorry about that. I didn’t eat for a long time so maybe I sucked too much, but anyway, I must do something with dead body before anyone see.”
Justin woke up “I’m not dead yet.”
“You still alive!?”
“Of course, but what you have done to me, I feel that myself is lacking of energy, you are the one who did it right?”
“Yup.” The girl said “I sucked your life energy as my food.”
“Huh?”
“Umm… I still hungry, maybe I should go out to take some more food.”
The girl walked to the window of the room, the wings on her back appeared.
“Wh…Who are you?” asked Justin
“Me?” said the girl “I’m Lydia, thanks for free me, and see you again later, bye.”
Lydia flew out and disappeared from Justin’s eyesight.
At night, Justin slept, he also dreamed
He dreamed that he was in a classroom, he saw Lydia killed many people in the classroom, and then she was going to kill Daniel, Justin cried “STOP!”
He woke up, and realized that it was just a dream.
In the next morning, Justin came to school, in the class, there was a few students came to the class, included Daniel. Justin wonder what was going on, but he didn’t know who he can ask and how he will start.
During the lunch break, Justin had lunch with Daniel
“I had a strange dream last night”, said Daniel
“What?”
“I dreamed that I was in the class, many people in the class were killed by a young girl in a sexy dress. I almost killed by her, too.”
“Huh?”
“And then in the morning, I saw many people didn’t show up in the class, I phone to their house, they said that they sick, they can’t come to school because they had no energy or something.”
“A girl in a sexy dress, make people lack of energy?”
“You know her, too?”
“Yeah! What a strange, I didn’t believe myself, too.” And then Justin told Daniel all of the story.
“She might not be a human” said Daniel “She must be a kind of superstition being! I heard that there was a kind of monster who get food by suck the energy of human being. Sure that she is!”
“What a stupid.” Justin said, but in his mind he figure out all the things and began believe in what Daniel said.
In the evening, there was a girl appeared in the school. Of course it was Lydia, her charm made everyone saw her as one eye. Nicolas (actually Nicolas studied in the same school with Justin and Daniel, but different class) said to her
“Oh! How beautiful you are, your eyes are so beautiful, your lips are … oh … it will be the greatest thing in my life if you give me a kiss.”
“You want to kiss me? Why not?”
Justin and Daniel were going to go back home, on the way Justin saw Lydia and Nicolas almost kissing each other.
“Lydia, stop!” Shouted Justin
Lydia stopped and saw Justin and said
“Oh Justin, I want to see you again.” She hugged Justin that made Nicolas really shocked.
Everyone saw Justin and Lydia as one eye, so Justin took her to the place that no one there.
“Hi, we meet again”, said Lydia
“Why you are here?”
“I want to see you.”
“You want to see me? Why?”
“Why? Because … Because … Umm… I forget it.”
“Uh?”
“But anyway, let me go with you until I can remember it, ok.”
It was better to let her go with him than let her went around and harm anybody, Justin said yes and took her home.
Lydia was tired all the day, she took a nap in Justin’s room. Justin was starting to did his assignment. He put his work on the table. On the table, he saw the necklace with the tiny bottle again. He came up with a plan.
The time passed by, at night, Justin asked Lydia to went for a walk together.
“a walk?”, asked Lydia
“Yeah.”
“Wow, that’s great. Where are you going to take me to? A shopping mall?”
“Nah, I have no money, just walk.”
The two walked on the road at night, Lydia was so happy.
They walked to the park, and then Justin pushed Lydia to the floor
“What are you doing?” asked Lydia “Are you going to rape me?”
In fact, Justin pushed Lydia to the magical wheel that written by Daniel.
“Justin called me in the evening to prepare for this plan. We have to do it in order to stop you to harm every body.”
“Uh…Ah…” Cried Lydia. The magical wheel made her lose her energy
Justin took the necklace with tiny bottle out from his pocket
“You find me because this one right? If you have it, no one can capture you and you will free. I can’t let you do that. I’ll capture you now.”
“No!”
Meanwhile, Nicolas back from buy some food in convenient store, when he walked through the park, he saw Lydia lay down on the floor and cried for help with Justin and Daniel stand aside. Nicolas rushed to Justin.
“What the heck are you going to do!?” Nicolas Shouted
He punched Justin, Justin tried to explain but Nicolas didn’t listen, he dodge Nicolas’ punch until his back almost leant the wall, at the wall there are many big and long sticks leant on the wall as well.
Finally Justin’s back leant in the sticks on the wall, the sticks were going to fall to Justin’s body.
“JUSTIN, WATCH OUT!” said lydia, she used all her strength rushed out of the magical wheel. She pushed Justin away before the sticks fell to his body, Justin safe.
“Lydia.” Said Justin
“Justin” Said Lydia “I’m glad that you are safe.” And then she was unconscious because she lost all her energy.
“Oh Lydia, you sacrificed yourself for me?” Justin kissed her, gave all his energy to her hoped that she will woke up.
Three days later
Justin was unconscious for three days, his mom took care of him
“Oh, thanks God, you are safe.”
“What’s going on mom?”
“Three days ago, Daniel and one guy took your home, and you were unconscious for three days. I don’t know how come a strong person like you become unconscious like this. Take care of yourself ok?” Mom said, “I will go to find something for you to eat.” And then she walk out of Justin’s room.
Suddenly there is a voice from the window
“Hi”, of course, it’s Lydia
“It’s you again?”
“Thanks for help me, you are really a nice guy.”
“It’s all right … but…”
What Justin saw is, Lydia wore the necklace with the bottle on her neck
“Hey! Give it back to me!”
“No. If I give it back to you, you will use it to capture me, right?” Said Lydia “But don’t worry, I’ll not harm anyone anymore.”
“Pardon?”
“I sucked energy from many people, but there is no energy that as delicious as yours.”
“That means?”
“Yes, from now on I will suck only yours.”
“Oh no!” cried Justin “Someday I’ll capture you, Lydia!”
posted by Lorena at 8:31 PM
2 Comments:
It looks like the fantasy story, and it is also cool story. I think Justin is already falling in love with Lydia.
There's a lot of dialogues inserted here which in a way keeps the flow of the story. It would be better though if more details were added to the different scenes found in the story. Maybe digging into the mind of a particular character perhaps will bring more liveliness to the scenes where the readers are able to better connect with the character. Adding more details to the surrounding, and not just the dialogues alone will help balance out the content of the story.
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